Desperate (Harris Trilogy Book One) Read online

  Kate dressed in her male garb, and exited the tent to find a young soldier waiting for her. He escorted her to some huge tents set up in a clearing. In awe of her surroundings, she saw makeshift beds and cots waiting to be filled with injured soldiers. Doctors were busy arranging medical instruments, and preparing to save lives.

  Kate approached a tall, young, doctor with shoulder length, blond hair tied back with a piece of leather. “Hi, I’m Jake, and I have been sent to assist in any way that I can.”

  “I’m Doctor Jacob Greene.” He had to be at least six foot four inches tall. He was so tall she had to look up to see into his handsome face. He was also very muscular with a massive chest. When Kate thought of doctors, he was not what came to mind.

  “Jake, we need lots of water. Go to the creek and start filling buckets with water. Anything you can find to put water in, use it. Thanks, we really appreciate your help.”

  ****

  A heavy, white mist penetrated the forest as Captain David Harris looked at the young soldiers readying for battle. Many of them too young to understand what they were fighting for. Most didn’t own slaves, but had been forced to fight. But then the war wasn’t just about slavery. It went much deeper than that.

  He could see General Lee astride his gray mount, Traveler, giving commands in the distance. David always felt agitated before battle. His black gelding, Midnight, stomped underneath him as if sensing his mood. He hated not being in control and he never knew what to expect in battle.

  Lieutenant Emerson drew his horse next to David and saluted. “The men are ready, Captain.”

  David patted Midnight’s thick neck to calm the animal. When he had control of his horse, he offered Emerson his hand giving him a firm handshake. “Good luck, Mike.” His Lieutenant gave him a solemn nod and another salute before galloping his horse to his men and taking his place among them. Back ramrod straight and eyes staring straight ahead, he removed his saber with a flourish and waited for David’s command.

  The sun broke over the trees and with it the fog began to dissipate. Full of color and light, the clearing in the middle of the Virginia forest was beautiful. Green trees, wild flowers, he took a moment to take in all the peace and wonder. In a nearby tree he heard a woodpecker hammering on a tree.

  From the hill David could see the Yankees lined up in battle formation causing his stomach to lurch. A long line of blue uniforms at attention, weapons raised and ready, as far as the eye could see looked ominous as the morning sun inched toward them.

  In mere minutes the beauty would be gone, and in its place blood would cover the ground. A general in full Union regalia raced his horse in front of the young men shouting orders to pump them up for the battle ahead. Sword high in the air, he looked regal and proud mounted on his mighty white steed. In the distance he saw the red, white, and blue of the Union flag, heard the band playing.

  The urge to turn his horse around and head home was strong. The thought of another battle caused the knots in his stomach to intensify. Emotion swamped him as he did his best to pull his thoughts together for his men. He was a captain in the Confederate Army and he had responsibilities.

  The commanders all received their orders and led their men toward the Union forces. He looked at Lieutenant Emerson and gave a slight nod. His saber swiped through the air and he shouted, “Attack.”

  The Rebel yell was deafening as they raced forward on horseback. Men without benefit of a horse followed behind at a full run, weapons ready to fire.

  Man after man fell to their deaths as they met on the battlefield. The death and carnage would forever be in his mind. Until his dying day he would have nightmares.

  After several hours of brutal fighting, they had the Yankees on the run, but it had been at a heavy cost. Lee and his men had struck a surprise maneuver, and smashed through the Union defenses. The Yankees retreated eastward.

  There were so many dead soldiers’ bodies littered across the terrain, men from the South and North. The numbers were staggering. As night fell the battle was called off because of the wooded terrain of the Virginia forest giving the remaining soldiers a chance to rest. Still he didn’t feel any peace. In the morning the battle would continue, more men would die.

  ****

  After the exertion of hauling water for several hours, Kate was exhausted. Then the inevitable happened. The injured soldiers started arriving. Kate had no idea what she had gotten herself into.

  There were only two field surgeons for the hundreds of injured soldiers. Doctor Jacob Greene, was young and vibrant, Doctor Williams, older and a drunk. Kate could tell Doctor Williams was already drunk before he began to operate on the first soldier. The young man had a bullet in his abdomen. Thank goodness he was already unconscious and did not feel Doctor Williams clumsily probing around his abdomen for the mangled piece of metal.

  Kate helped by trying to keep the wound swabbed while the doctor operated. Doctor Williams yelled at her when she bumped his arm while trying to reach the young soldier’s wound. She could smell the liquor on his breath. The man was not decent enough to be performing surgery on a horse, let alone a human.

  Doctor Jacob Greene on the other hand was an excellent doctor. He had compassion and spoke and joked with the soldiers as he wrapped wounds, stitched, and performed operations. Kate decided she liked working with him and tried to stay away from Doctor Williams as much as possible.

  Too many soldiers were being carried into the makeshift hospital. Many had to remain on the litter that carried them to the field hospital until an operating table was available. If the soldier died, she was instructed to find the handkerchief or piece of paper on his person with his name and address, and then pin it to his uniform so someone could contact his family to let them know of his death. There were so many she felt hopeless. How would they ever catch up? There was chaos everywhere. Bile rose in her throat and she had to fight to keep it down. Men were crying for their mamas, moaning from all the pain, and the stench of death was in the air.

  Just when she thought she could bear no more, she saw Adam lying on a litter being brought in. She ran to his side and took his hand. Blood oozed from a wound on his leg. “Adam, can you hear me?”

  In a weak voice he whispered, “Jake, I need something for pain. He clutched Kate’s sleeve and pulled her close. “Please give me something.” Pale as a sheet from loss of blood, she feared he would pass out.

  She helped Adam sit so she could give him some quinine. “Thanks, Jake, the pain is horrendous, almost more than I can stand.”

  Doctor Williams came to look at Adam’s wound. “Private, get me the saw, I will have to amputate his leg.” Kate felt the color leave her face. The thought of Adam losing his leg caused her chest to ache.

  She mustered up her courage. “Can’t you save it, Doctor?”

  Contempt showed on his face. Waving his bloody hand toward the injured and dying, he snapped, “Do you not see how many injured men we have to see to? There is no time to save limbs, only lives.”

  Perhaps he was correct, but it was Adam, someone she knew. They had become close friends and she could not tolerate the thought of him losing his leg without at least making an attempt to help save it from amputation.

  She ran to Doctor Greene and put her hand on his arm. “Doctor Greene, will you please look at my friend’s leg? Doctor Williams is going to amputate. Please see if you can save it!” She saw the hesitation in Doctor Greene’s eyes. Williams was the senior doctor and Kate knew he did not want to upset protocol. “Please.”

  Doctor Greene approached Doctor Williams. “May I have a look before you amputate the young man’s leg, Doctor Williams?”

  It was obvious the senior doctor was annoyed at being questioned about his diagnosis. However, with the multitude of patients to attend too, he moved aside so that Dr. Greene could examine Adam’s leg. “If you feel the need to question my abilities, Jacob.” Dr. Williams gave Kate a menacing glare before he stepped away from Adam. She ignored his anger. So wha
t if she made an enemy. All that mattered was Adam.

  Grateful he would at least make an attempt to save Adam’s leg she whispered, “Thank you, Doctor Greene.”

  He pressed his fingers against Adam’s wound making him flinch. “Jake, we are instructed not to spend too much time with each patient. Sometimes we have to amputate, even though the limbs could be saved with time-consuming operations. We are to save as many lives as possible.”

  “Please try to save his leg.” Kate peered up at him and hope surged through her when his expression softened.

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  Kate assisted as best she could with the removal of the piece of metal lodged in Adam’s leg. She swabbed the blood and handed Jacob the instruments he needed for the surgery. She was relieved when she saw Dr. Greene pull the metal ball from Adam’s leg.

  “There, now only time will tell. If gangrene doesn’t set in, he will probably get to keep it. We’ll know in a few hours.” She was so thankful she wanted to throw her arms around him and hug him, but that just might look a little suspicious. She reminded herself men didn’t hug other men.

  Nightfall finally came and Kate was so exhausted she could hardly put one foot in front of the other. She looked around at the many injured soldiers still needing medical attention. Dozens had not made it, and died on the operating table. They would remove the body, wash the blood from the table with buckets of water, and lay another injured soldier down. It was endless.

  The air reeked of vomit and excrement. Piles of amputated limbs and bodies waited to be buried when someone had time to take on the task. By this time Doctor Williams was pretty drunk because he would take a drink every time he finished with a patient. The drunker he became the more men died.

  On the other hand Doctor Greene was a wonder. He looked disheveled and had to be exhausted but he kept going. He was a great doctor and Kate was extremely impressed with his abilities. The injured soldiers were lucky if Doctor Jacob Greene treated them.

  Chapter Four

  David arrived at his quarters looking forward to seeing Kate. He was a little worried when she was not in his tent waiting for him. Perhaps she was still at the field hospital where the injured soldiers were taken for medical treatment. He mounted his tired horse to go get her and bring her back to his quarters.

  When David arrived at the field hospital, it was mayhem. The two doctors were working frantically to save as many lives of the injured soldiers as they could. Other young soldiers were assisting as needed, but he saw no sign of Kate.

  As he moved along the many cots of injured and dying soldiers, his mind circled around his doubts of continuing the war. Was the war worth all the death? Some of the injured soldiers were clinging to life by a tenuous hold. It hurt David to see them in such agony. He heard moaning caused by the painful injuries, and could smell the sickly odor of infection.

  Finally, he saw Kate wearing her once white uniform shirt and trousers, now covered with the red, crimson blood of the injured and dying soldiers. He could see she was so exhausted she could hardly stand on her tired feet.

  Taking a few moments, he watched her move among the soldiers giving aid anyway she could. The injured thought a young man tended them. They had no idea a beautiful woman was seeing to their needs. He realized her heart was a pretty as her face. She never wavered through all the mayhem of the moans, pain and blood.

  Even though she appeared extremely tired, she smiled when she saw him. David tucked his arm into hers and led her out of the tent to the surrounding dark forest where they could have some privacy.

  Her face was masked by the darkness. He reached out and ran a finger over her lips. He whispered, “Kate it’s time to call it a night. Let’s go get some rest tonight. You can come back in the morning. The patients will still be here.” He did not have the heart to tell her there would probably be hundreds more arriving tomorrow since the battle was far from over. He and his men were scheduled to be back on the battle field at dawn. It was possible the battle could last for days.

  Outside his quarters, David ordered a soldier to bring some warm water. He opened the flap to his tent and waited for her to enter. Now that they were alone, he gripped her arms and asked, “Are you okay?”

  Tears shimmered in her eyes but she fought to keep them at bay. “It has been a horrible day. I can’t begin to explain the pain I feel.” She touched a finger to his dirty cheek. “I guess it hasn’t been any better for you.”

  “Let’s don’t discuss the horrors we have experienced today. Let’s pretend none of it happened.” Just knowing tomorrow would be a repeat of today, his stomach was one hard knot.

  “Captain Harris.”

  David stepped outside and took the bucket of water from the soldier. “Thank you, son.”

  He sat the bucket in front of Kate and rummaged through a bag on his cot until he found a bar of soap and a clean cloth. Water splashed over the rim when he dropped the soap and cloth in the bucket. His fingers moved to the buttons on her shirt.

  Bloody hands wrapped around his fingers in protest. Color tinted her perfect cheeks. “I can give myself a bath. It is not proper for you to see me naked.”

  “I promise it is okay for me to give you a bath, Kate. You can relax because I am too tired to do anything more.” Her expression still wary, she dropped her hands to her side.

  David pulled the bloody shirt away, and then the binding concealing her breasts. The stiff fabric had chaffed her skin and it was raw. A low groan escaped his lips when he saw her breasts. She tried to cover them, but he pushed her arms away. “You are exquisite, Kate. Your body is perfection. When I saw you at the creek, I knew your beautiful body would be etched in my mind forever.” She smiled reveling in the compliment.

  He peeled her trousers and underwear from her long, shapely legs. Every time his fingers grazed her skin he felt penetrating heat. Her nipples puckered proving his touches were having an effect on her. Peering into her face, he saw the desire in her eyes.

  He could feel her passion, and knew he could satisfy his need for her tonight, but his honorable side would not let him. The thickness in his trousers was painful, he wanted her desperately. He fought for control and began to wash the blood and filth of the horrible day from Kate’s perfect, alabaster skin.

  As the cloth touched her skin, she closed her eyes and basked in the sensations. His eyes never left her face as he touched her most intimate parts with the cloth. Never in his life had he wanted a woman more than he did Kate. It was pure torture knowing he could not make love to her.

  Lifting her nude body into his arms, David carried her to his cot. He slipped one of his shirts over her arms, then her creamy shoulders. He buttoned it, and kissed the top of her head before running his fingers through her mop of soft, brown curls. “Good night Kate, I’ll see you in the morning.”

  He paused when she whispered, “Can you sit with me for just a few minutes? I know so little about your family and you know everything about mine. Please tell me about your life in Richmond.”

  Because of his desire, he shouldn’t be alone with her. A smile bloomed on her face, and she looked so sweet and innocent. Pulling a chair beside the cot, he sat down and placed his hands in his lap to keep from touching her. His heart melted when she looked at him with those big, green eyes glowing in the light of the lantern sitting on the side table. It was if she were trying to seduce him with those unusual, spectacular eyes.

  He took a long, quiet breath. “My parents are both in Richmond taking care of our plantation. I have a younger brother, Dole, who is also a Captain in the infantry and last I heard was in Appomattox. I haven’t seen him in over a year. My sister Dana is thirteen and away at school. I haven’t seen her since Christmas.” He crossed his legs and leaned back in the chair. “I can remember when life was normal before the war. Dole and I helped dad with the everyday operation of our plantation. Dana and mom handled the books. Life was simple.”

  Kate sighed sorrowfully. “You must miss
them terribly.”

  “Yes, I do. We are very close. Even though we are separated because of the war, they are always in my heart. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of them, hope they are safe.” His face becoming serious, David whispered, “The war has changed everything. I pray to God every night to bring an end to the death.”

  Gazing into her beautiful face, he wanted to curl up beside her and sleep. By the promise in her eyes she would not protest. By the sheer force of will, David stood and took several steps needing to put some space between them. He turned before disappearing through the tent flap and stated, “You had better get some rest. We both have obligations tomorrow and need sleep. Goodnight, Kate.”

  Her voice sounding forlorn she whispered, “Goodnight, David.”

  Outside he peered at the star speckled sky. It was a peaceful scene with the almost full moon, but he was anything but calm inside. Shocked by the strong desire he felt for Kate, he blew out an agitated breath. He should have sent her home. He raked his fingers through his matted, dirty hair and began to pace in front of his tent. The last thing he needed was a beautiful woman playing with his emotions.

  In the shadows beyond his tent, David heard the hoof beats of a horse. A rider materialized out of the darkness and galloped straight for him. Mere feet from where he stood the rider pulled back on the reins and halted. He swung off his horse leaving the reins dangling, saluted, and handed him a slip of paper. Of course it was bad news. The hair on the back on his neck stood. After a moment’s hesitation he opened the letter and read the words.

  Stonewall Jackson has been injured. Come to the field hospital. Dr. Jacob Greene

  Just that very morning, David had seen Stonewall healthy and energetic, conferring with the other generals, and barking out orders to his men. “How is he?”