Desperate (Harris Trilogy Book One) Read online

  Emerson wiped the blood from his face and struggled to his feet. “Come on, Captain. You don’t believe she is a lady any more than I do. A lady would not be here among all these men. She’s a whore, Captain. I’d bet my life on it.”

  He shook with fury. “Get back to camp, Lieutenant. I’ll deal with you in the morning.” He kicked Emerson in the ass, and pointed toward camp. “Now!”

  He angrily stomped away. David watched him leave unable to believe the Mike he knew would do something as despicable as rape. They grew up only miles apart. Hell, he’d known the man all his life, considered him a friend.

  He peered at the frightened young woman and his anger evaporated. Huge green eyes gazed back at him. He wondered what he would do with her. “What’s your name, Miss?”

  “Kate Monroe, Sir. I’m so sorry. I did not mean to cause any trouble.” Tears slipped over her beautiful cheeks.

  Female tears always pulled at his heartstrings and he felt sympathy for the girl. “Well, get dressed and we’ll talk when we get back to camp.”

  He turned his back while she slipped into the clean pants that she had brought with her to the creek. He could hear the cloth rustling against her skin. In his mind, he could still see her exquisite body before she donned her shirt.

  How in the hell did she hide all those curves? He was going to have to get her out of camp quickly. She could stir up a lot of problems if someone found out she was a woman; problems for her and him.

  They walked back to camp in silence. The poor girl was pale as a sheet. What was her story? How did a woman as pretty as her end up in a camp full of men?

  Captain David Harris escorted Miss Monroe to his quarters and fixed her a hot cup of coffee. Sitting on the small sofa, she sipped slowly letting the warm liquid heat up her cold body. He still couldn’t believe she had been among a throng of men and no one noticed she was a female. He waited patiently as she made the coffee last as long as possible prolonging the inevitable.

  When she finished, David took the cup from her hands, and set the cup on the small table by the tiny sofa. “Let’s start with why are you here?”

  She wrung her hands in her lap. A long silence followed before she met his gaze. “My parents died in a barn fire about a year ago. Then my brother, Jake Monroe, was injured in the war and died two months after returning home.” She wiped at a tear with the back of her hand. “My grandmother died only a week ago. I have no family left. I’m all alone.”

  “Lots of people are alone, Kate. That doesn’t mean they should do something crazy like dress up like a man and go to war. Look what almost happened because of your reckless behavior. Lieutenant Emerson was going to rape you.”

  “I know what he was going to do.” Her cheeks turned pink.

  “I’m sorry, but I could not stay on my farm any longer.” He started to interrupt, but she raised her hand and pleaded, “Please hear me out and let me explain my plight. My neighbor, Bob Lewis tried to force me to marry him. I don’t want to marry him. I detest him. He’s not a nice man.”

  Irritated, David argued, “Miss Monroe, it seems you have no other option but to marry. You are too young to be on your own, and without funds you can’t survive. Someone needs to take care of you. It sounds like this Bob Lewis is your only choice.”

  Eyes full of sorrow, she pleaded, “You don’t understand sir, he is a cruel man and I will not marry him.”

  Tired and frustrated, David needed rest. Besides he couldn’t do anything tonight. “I’ll decide what to do with you in the morning. I’m too tired to try to make a decision tonight, but you can’t stay here. I’ll have to make arrangements to get you out of camp tomorrow.”

  He stood, took her small hands into his, and pulled her to her feet. “You take my bed and I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

  “I can sleep on the sofa. I don’t mind. Besides you are too tall.”

  David ran his fingers through his thick, black hair. “I’m too tired to argue tonight. Go to bed and we’ll work all this out in the morning. When she opened her mouth to protest he snapped, “Good night, Miss Monroe.” He was getting annoyed not knowing how he was going to get out of this predicament without anyone else in camp finding out about her. The woman sure put him in a quandary.

  ****

  Sleep did not come easy for David. He lay trying to figure out what he was going to do with the beautiful, Kate Monroe. He almost admired her courage of dressing as a man and joining the war. There was no way she could be the innocent she pretended. She had to have known men or she would not have taken the chance showing up in the middle of so many.

  All he could see when he closed his eyes was her magnificent body through the thin shirt. Her breasts were exquisite. Her legs were shapely, long, and perfect for wrapping around a man’s body. He was going to have to get her out of the camp quickly. She was nothing but trouble. Yes, first thing in the morning Kate Monroe would be leaving.

  ****

  Kate could not wait to get a good nights rest in a real bed. The tiny cot in her tent wasn’t very comfortable. She stripped down to her thin shirt and crawled under the covers. Oh, the feather bed felt like heaven.

  Then the memory of almost being raped entered her mind. She shuddered at the thoughts of what would have happened to her if Captain Harris had not shown up when he did.

  What would he do about her? She would be devastated if he sent her back home. She doubted she would be lucky enough to escape Bob Lewis a second time. As she lay trying to go to sleep all she could see was beautiful, clear, blue eyes that seemed to stare into her soul. He was a man she could fall in love with.

  ****

  The next morning Captain David Harris received a message and a map from General Lee to organize his men and start marching toward the wilderness area of Virginia. Lee’s message said it was urgent to move swiftly to meet with General Jackson’s men to hold off the Union Army.

  Captain Harris gave the order to pack up the camp and get ready to march. The camp was a buzz of activity, as the men got ready to fight.

  David went in to wake Miss Monroe. She looked so sweet and childlike as she lay sleeping. As he watched her sleep, something stirred inside him. I have to get her out of here as soon as possible. She is too much of a distraction. “Miss Monroe, wake up, we have to pack and move out.”

  She sat up, pulling the covers up to her neck. She blinked several times trying to clear her head.

  “We have orders from General Lee to converge with Jackson’s army and Lee’s to strike the Yankees. I don’t have time to send an escort to take you back home. You are going to have to come with us. I need you to keep your disguise a little longer. Please get up and dress in your uniform. I told Lieutenant Emerson not to tell anyone your gender. No one in camp knows but Emerson and me.”

  It was obvious she was elated with the news she would not be going home. He could see the relief in her eyes. “Don’t think for one minute you’ll be staying. As soon as I can spare the men you are going home.” David didn’t want to give her false hope. She needed to understand it was not possible to stay.

  Waiting until David left the room, she bound her breasts even though it was uncomfortable and dressed in her brother’s uniform. Even the rawness where the binding had rubbed her skin couldn’t ruin her good mood. For the moment she was safe from Bob Lewis.

  She ran to her tent she shared with Adam and packed the rest of her belongings. When she arrived back at David’s quarters, she was ready to leave.

  Quick to follow David’s directions, his men were ready to leave their camp at Red Springs behind. He approached Kate. “Can you ride?”

  “Yes, Sir, I’ve been on horseback a few times for my training in camp.” Not convinced, David chose the calmest horse in the pasture. It was a small, buckskin mare named Betsy. The men in his outfit had brought their own horses or mules because the South did not have the money to provide all the men with horses. A farmer, who could no longer afford to feed her, had donated Betsy.

  K
ate mounted her horse with a little effort. David’s voice was brisk. “Stay close to me at all times. The forests are full of Union sharp shooters hiding in the woods.”

  She couldn’t think of any other place she’d rather be than by the handsome Captain’s side. He gave the signal to surge ahead, and his men marched with the excitement of getting the chance to kill some Yankees. They were ready for some action since they had been inactive for a long time.

  On the long trip to the tangled Virginia forest known as the Wilderness, David didn’t speak to Kate. She had hoped to use the opportunity to learn more about him. He seemed to be deep in thought. Concerned she asked, “Are you all right, Sir?”

  “I’m wondering how many of these men that I am about to lead into battle will die. Some of them are just boys. I hate that part of the war. I’ve already seen so many of my men die, and now many more will perish.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir. I know it must be difficult. They know what is expected of them and they are men of honor and will not hesitate to die for what they believe in. It’s the way of life in the South. My brother felt the same way and he did not live to see his seventeenth birthday.”

  “Speaking of your family, why is it that you speak so refined, and act like a lady from the city, even though you were born on a small farm?”

  “My mom felt education was important. She lived close to Richmond when she was young. Her parents owned a large plantation and she had the best of everything. She attended the best schools money could buy. She wore the most beautiful and stylish clothes. She was a spoiled, rich girl.” Kate patted Betsy’s neck. “She lived a life of pleasure.”

  “Everything was wonderful until she fell in love with her father’s overseer, Daniel Monroe. My mother adored him even though he was not of her class. Her father forbad her to see him. She ran away with him to Durham, North Carolina and that is where they settled and built a small farm. My mom gave up parties, pretty dresses, and her parents. She gave up so much, but she loved my father deeply, and was very happy with the life she had on the small farm. Never again did she speak to her father. For a while she corresponded with her mother until her father discovered they had been writing each other. My grandmother was forbidden to write another letter to my mother. It is terrible she died without their love.”

  “What is your grandfather’s name?”

  “Roy Talbert. I don’t even know if he and my grandmother are still alive.”

  “I know him. He is still in Richmond. I’m sorry but your grandmother died a year ago. Maybe we should try to contact him.” David thought this could be how he could get rid of Miss Monroe before any of the other men found out about her gender.

  Kate snorted indelicately. “Do you think I would speak to him after he treated my mother and father the way he did?” I have nothing to say to him. If my father was not good enough for him, neither am I.”

  Annoyed with her stubbornness, David stated, “Miss Monroe, you are going to have to do something. You cannot stay here. As soon as we get back to Camp Kanway we are going to have to decide what to do with you. If the men find out that I knew and let you stay, I will be court-martialed. You could be in a lot of trouble yourself. I don’t think the army would be too happy when they discover a woman had duped them into believing she was a man.”

  Kate opened her mouth to argue, but David put up his hand to keep her from speaking. “The subject is closed. I don’t want to hear anymore arguing. You have to leave.” With that made clear, he kicked his horse into a gallop, and raced ahead. She watched until he disappeared from sight in a sea of gray uniforms.

  Kate was mad as a bull. The man was going to be difficult to reason with. She was not going to contact her grandfather. She would have nothing to do with him. There must be another alternative.

  Suddenly another horse came trotting up beside her. Looking into the intense, dark eyes of Lieutenant Emerson, Kate blushed. The ugly claw marks on his handsome cheek reminded her of what almost happened last night. At least she had inflicted some pain on him. His face was also bruised from the beating he had received from Captain Harris. He did not look too pleased.

  “So now you’re whoring around with the Captain.” It seemed he was still angry because his plans with her had been ruined because of David. Instead of lashing out at David, he chose to take his fury out on her.

  “Go away and leave me alone, Lieutenant Emerson. I do not like or trust you, and never will.” She was already fuming with Captain Harris, and did not need Lieutenant Emerson making her angrier.

  “If you think he cares one bit about you, think again. A man of Captain Harris’ standings would not marry a whore.”

  Kate opened her mouth ready to give Lieutenant Emerson a piece of her mind when she heard David’s angry voice. “Get back into formation, Lieutenant Emerson. I have had enough of your poor attitude.” She was thankful Captain Harris had returned. Emerson’s lewd remarks made her furious.

  Emerson gave Captain Harris an exaggerated salute, “Yes, Sir.” He reined his horse back into formation.

  Even though she was still angry with his arrogance, she felt safe when he was by her side. When she glanced at Emerson and saw the fury on his face, she shivered. She would have to be sure to stay clear of him.

  Kate and David rode the rest of the day without speaking. Both were worried. Kate about what she was going to do to keep David from sending her back home. He worried about the battle ahead. How many more men and boys would die before this terrible war was over?

  ****

  On the evening of May 1, 1863, Captain Harris’ Infantry marched into the wilderness area. General Lee and Stonewall Jackson’s armies were already there. After months of inactivity, they were spoiling for a fight.

  Kate couldn’t believe all the gray uniforms. There were men as far as she could see. Apprehensive being the only female in sight had her heart pounding. When Kate dismounted from her horse, her legs almost buckled under her. Pain vibrated through her whole body from the hours spent in the saddle. Head resting against the side of the saddle she bit her bottom lip.

  “Are you okay?”

  She made an effort to smile at David. “Yes, I’m not accustomed to riding.” She walked around slowly until she had feeling in her legs again. Her whole body still ached.

  David moved away from his horse and handed her a canteen. She lifted it to her lips and took several swallows. “I have to meet with the other commanders. After the men get my tent set up, wait for me there. Talk to no one. Go nowhere.” He left her standing there looking at his back as he walked away.

  It was very late when David arrived back at his quarters. As soon as Kate saw him, she knew he was in a dark mood. She was almost afraid to speak to him.

  She whispered, “Are you okay?”

  “I’m worried because the Yankees have many more troops than we do. I hate to lose any more lives for a war we may not win. So many have already perished. There will be many more lost tomorrow.” The verbal picture he painted made her heart quiver in her chest.

  Fighting the urge to touch him, she whispered, “I wish I could do something to ease your pain.”

  David gave her a long lingering look. She saw that look and her heart beat rapidly, knowing she wouldn’t refuse him if he tried to kiss her. He finally looked away and stated in a firm tone, “Go to bed Kate, we’ll talk in the morning.”

  As she ambled from the room David’s gaze was drawn to her. She was wearing one of his shirts, which was much too big and baggy for her, and she seemed so young and vulnerable.

  It didn’t matter what she chose to wear. Knowing what was hiding beneath the baggy shirt made him want her desperately. He knew he was in a dilemma. The longer she was in his presence, the more he feared succumbing to his desire for her.

  ****

  Early the next morning Kate woke to moonlight streaming into the entrance of the tent. Last night she had trouble sleeping because she could not keep David Harris from her thoughts. She admired him. He was the
most honorable, gorgeous, descent man, she had ever known. By the way he was looking at her last night, he was also attracted to her.

  Smelling a pungent odor, Kate gazed across the small space inside the tent and saw David sitting in a chair near the entrance deep in thought. Shadows caused his profile to look dangerous. The smoke from his cigar swirled around him and she wondered what he was thinking. Quietly, she slipped out of bed and walked to where he sat. Blue eyes met hers and her heart almost stopped at the pain she saw in them.

  “Is there anything I can do to help today? I can’t just sit here and twiddle my thumbs. I need something to occupy my mind or I will go crazy with worry.”

  With long fingers he rubbed the stubble on his cheek. In a brisk voice he stated, “I’m not sending you into battle.”

  “I’m not asking you to, but surely there is something else I can do. I helped my grandmother. She was a natural healer. I have some abilities with healing.”

  Taking a deep draw from his cigar, David slowly blew the smoke into the cool morning air. After what seemed an eternity he stated, “There are some tents set up for the injured soldiers. It may be pretty gory but you could assist the doctors if you think you can handle it. I will have you escorted there. But, you must wear your uniform. We don’t want anyone to find out you are a woman.”

  She smiled shyly. “Thank you. I would rather be busy and be of some help, than to stay here and worry.”

  He stood and peered down at her standing just inches from him. She stared into his sensual eyes for what seemed like forever before he finally bent and kissed her lips. She fought the urge to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him close. Pure passion, it could not be described as anything else.

  Abruptly, David stepped away from Kate as if he feared what he would do if he stayed. “I will see you later tonight.” He turned and quickly went through the entrance of the tent prepared for the battle ahead. She shivered as she touched her lips where he had kissed her. She would be counting the minutes until tonight.